#METOO – Why the Silence of Sexually Violated Victims– MeToo, One Reason
There are many reasons why victims of sexual abuse #METOO and other forms of abuse stay silent, #WhyIDidntReport. In this blog, I want to talk about one less talked about reason and bring it to light.
I have been debating with myself whether I should write on this sensitive topic and how to present it.
However, a few days ago, a middle-aged gentleman doing some work where I was asked, “what I don’t understand is, why did she waited 36 years before saying anything?” He was referring to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. I gave him my point of view and after some thoughtful looks, he said to me, “now with that explanation, it makes sense to me.”
This feedback from this gentleman might have been the validation I needed to build the courage to write on this topic.
If you listened to her testimony (Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s), you will both see and hear something happened to her. Something so bad, it looks like it still needs to be shaken off of her. She is not alone!
This blog is to give one reason I have not heard discussed in these painful situations. This will just be a scratch of the topic.
If you are wondering what topic and situation, it is why sexually violated victims do not report or talk about it ever or for many, many years. Recently with the #METOO movement, a lot of sexual abuse cases of long ago are coming to light. There are many forms of sexual violations not limited to sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape, unwelcomed touches, body movements to give a message and more. Hope this article shades a little light on #WhyIStayed, #WhyIDidntReport.
To evaluate what I am about to put forth, the first thing to understand is that we are spiritual beings using a physical body to do things in the physical plane…earth. While we may not see them, God’s angels and demons are around us round the clock. These are sometimes referred to as energies.
Sometimes, just talking about the abuse in some cases, heals the victims. In the Bible, John 8:32 (KJV) says, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” But why don’t we speak this truth and bring it to light sooner is the issue I want to deal with. Because when light is shed on a situation, illumination comes with freedom, so one would reason, just tell the truth. But as we see, the victims’ mouths and minds are shut and locked up. But by whom?
These spiritual energies need a body to operate through, to attach to, or live in. The Bible says when a man and a woman come together intimately, “the two shall become one”
Mark 10: 8 “and the two will become one flesh.’ So, they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
The marital gavel in the Bible is the sexual act. You may say, in some cases there was no consummation, thus no marriage. But there was; as Jesus said, in Matthew 5: 28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
A Strive to be happy tip is to spend some time in nature. Hang out with trees. Just Be. Be Still and know! Be still. Be.
We all have different definitions for happiness based on our experiences and culture for what makes us feel truly yummy inside. Get joy and happiness, let bliss and other good stuff flow in!
Happiness seems to be a pre‐requisite for lots of beautiful things. Joy is very important for many reasons. Very simply, it is necessary for good mental, physical, and spiritual alertness, which enables us to be vastly productive.
As an iridologist and life coach, I see many people whose business, relationships, health, and more has been marred because they did not have the energy provoked and invoked by joy.
We have to strive to be happy consciously, as so many unexpected situations can steal our joy. Here is a tip from my book Strive to be Happy. Powerful Tools On How To.
Be with Trees. Trees are present, beautiful, powerful, graceful, and cleansing. Take a walk in nature. Listen.
Trees yield so many benefits; hang out with a tree — peace, calm, clarity, happiness and more will show up!
Build a solid foundation.
How the Dog Became a Domestic Animal and Your Personal Constitution
New Book – How the Dog Became a Domestic Animal
ReClaim Your Life Tip For This Week: Have a Personal Constitution.
In my new book “How the Dog Became a Domestic Animal,’ the animals decide to crown a king and set a constitution to rule their kingdom and the consequences if violated. The animal that ends up violating one of the rules punishable by death is not the one that gets punished as he is a manipulator.
Without giving the story away so you can enjoy it, the dog gets caught in the middle of this setup. Fables and folktales are meant for entertainment and also to teach life lessons and success strategies. One lesson from this story is to figure out why the dog was so gullible. Did he have his own code of conduct to govern his life?
In my book “Love Under the Kola Nut Tree. What City Moms Didn’t Tell You About Creating Fulfilling Relationships,” the topic of a having Personal Constitution is discussed. These could be personal rules and ethical values that guide your daily personal, relationship, health, family, spiritual, financial, and cooperate life. For example, when I was in college, I had a rule that said when my alarm clock came up in the morning, I will not snooze or shut it off and go back to sleep. I had to get up, period; even if, I had only three or four hours of sleep!
This rule came from snoozing and thus waking up late and missing the bus to the train station. This meant I missed the train I had to take after that bus ride and then I missed the bus to school I had to take after the train ride! This lead to me being late for class and lab work. Late arrivals to a computer science class had serious consequences. Creating a rule that governed my life, though very tough, helped me. I remember waking up and I’ll be crying in the shower before going to school. I cried because I was very sleep and I needed more sleep but I had paid for my tuition by working late into the night after school.
In my new book “How the Dog Became a Domestic Animal,” we find that some animals, loved to be friendly, petted, played with, fed, given a ride, were proud, were too trusting without vetting, or gossiped. These character traits were understood by their enemies and subsequently used against them.!
To Reclaim your life, have rules and values that govern you; things you would do or not do. This personal constitution only works if you honor the rules and values therein. In the spiritual realm, your word and the meditations of your heart are a bound; no signatures are needed. If we are not conscious, you inadvertently and unconsciously give others permission to impose their own subtle and sometimes blatant values and codes upon your life. We might blame them later, forgetting we have not set our own boundaries by knowing and acting who we are, being guided by our own personal constitution.
Look around your life at many of the things and people, friends and associates; how did they come to be at the influencing level they are in your life today? How did those lunch discussions and language evolve to where it is today? How did your finances or health become as it is today; whether positive or not where you want.
If you don’t like the answers you get to these questions (add more questions to them,) then check your personal constitution. It may be time to update or create one. Snap out of the hypnotic rhythm you have been in. On your journey to reclaim your life
Choice, A simple Yet Potent strategy for the Success of Your Goals This Year
It’s a new Year! Happy New Year! You didn’t choose the change, but through choice, you can choose the outcome!
Now that we are way off the starting line of this new year, let’s look at some tools to make December a month of celebration!
Do you want to catapult your success this year to greater heights? Add this one thing to all you are currently doing. Read on to find out:
A few months ago, I visited a family I had known the father for years. The father of the house was one of the young men I had mentored along the way. Now he was married with children. That evening, there was joy and noise of discussions; pots and spoons clicked as cooking happened; children playing, talking and singing; TV blasting updates and music and joyous neighbors who had come by chatting over drinks. A typical household!
After the sumptuous dinner, the father cleared his throat quieted everyone and said he wanted to say something. As a hush came about, I wondered what the important topic was.
During the years I mentored this particular group of young adults in middle, high school and college, I used to send them group emails with strategies for success, encouragements, study habits and simple natural laws that would ensure their success. You see, God put simple processes encoded into nature, and the universe for all mankind. If you tap into them, life becomes easier; no matter the affliction, you or someone will assist you find a way out!
“While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, And cold and heat, And summer and winter, And day and night Shall not cease,” the Bible says. So, it does not matter who you are or your religious affiliation, if you are sowing (seeding), (could be teaching, giving your time, thoughts, words, sharing your resources, hugs, smiles, babysitting, a ride, a t-shirt to another who needs it, food, finances, anger, pride, love, joy, forgiveness, disobedience, coaching, mentoring, there will always be a harvest time! It was not specified what to seed or sow; thus, we are constantly unconsciously or consciously sowing in many ways! Then harvest time always comes; that’s the code; that’s the law, earth has already been programmed!
Take a moment to review your present contentment. What did you sow recently or years ago to give you today’s state of affairs?
Do you want a different output when you look back in a few weeks, months, years from now? At this time of the year, just as the Bible verse above stated, it is now a “new year” in human terms, but, in nature terms, it is a “new season”! It is Winter in the United States and Europe; Dry season in many African countries. Which connotation (new year or new season,) do you think will echo better for seeding/sowing success when you tap into it the right way? Many people set goals but they shortly forget about these goals (come February,) despite their best intentions. Been there! Why?
There are as many answers to this “why” as there are human beings who have set goals that did not come to fruition as envisioned. However, there are some few things we can all do to get at least fifty percent success for starters. That alone will propel us to push ahead for more success.
I like to look at foundational anchors that run across the board because we all have been given the same earth and nature to use; so, therein, must be building materials and tools for each of us to adapt to create our success. While you are setting goals, making lists, prioritizing, delegating, creating vision boards, add this one principal anchor below if you have not done so already.
Back to my story about the family I was visiting. As this father starting speaking, to my surprise, he thanked me profusely, because he said, a ‘code/key’ I had encouraged them to use in those formative years was the constant ingredient to his continuous success. (Stay with me, this is not about me). Then, he pulled out a long brown enveloped and out of it he pulled some papers. I thought he was going to pull out his certificates for all the degrees, certifications and awards he had attained. Instead, he pulled out an email I had sent to the group I was coaching and mentoring in the 90s!! I had titled it “Choice”!
He attributed that email from me to the key of his continuous success which he recounted some. I wanted to read the email myself, I needed some of that mentoring also! He had printed and kept the email and was now teaching his children and other young adults.
I had often wondered why he and a few others in the group excelled more than others. Here was one of the reasons. He made a choice to succeed! He made a choice study, to stay up late studying and wake up early, to marry when he did, to move to a different city, to build, to create businesses, to work, to forgive, to give, to take in another’s child and send to school etc. etc. Each conscious choice came with a lot of responsibilities and struggles. But because he made the choice, he stuck to the vision and saw the results. Success begat success and hope and a flow! Nature doing its part as promised by the Almighty!
Some of the actions/reactions of choice are recursive, as they are codes in themselves, bringing back more blessings to him! Cycle of seeding and harvesting.
The earth, the ethereal invisible world, fills up any empty space whether we see it or not.
Periodically, I’ll be sharing with you, what I call my “Intersection Coaching” to help you ReClaim Your Life! Being spiritual beings in a physical body, there is always an intersection of the physical and the spiritual in all we do, whether we know it or not! I’ll try to link it to current events so you see the manifestation in real time. For example, the #MeToo movement going on is because there is never a casual sexual relationship in words, thoughts or deeds (if not grounded in spiritual legality!). Without understanding the spiritual implications, it is only a matter of time before the forces at play manifest in the physical. And everything done in darkness will eventually come to light! We can’t stop the rhythm of the sun (except you have the understanding, boldness, connection and courage of Joshua!)
Again, the time to get the map (GPS) is before you get into the forest!
You will also discover what to do (as in the #MeToo), to rid yourself of STDs (I mean sexually transmitted demons;) some spiritually programmed to manifest at a certain time in the victims (and perpetuators’) lives! We must understand our spiritual DNA and teach it to our young adults! Not knowing or not understanding does not stop the side effects as we see in many situations.
Yes, I’ve been working on a lot of knowledge, understanding and comprehension, these ‘invisible years’ among other things! No more ‘milk’; it’s time for ‘meat’! My desire is to help enable your/my journey here on earth to be fulfilling and joyful as many I have coached had lost their joy. In fact, this is what lead me to write my book “Strive To Be Happy. Powerful Tools On How To.”
I had to go a little deeper as buying expensive programs, traveling around the country studying to move forward, I noticed others and myself seemed to have plateaued or were going round and round in circles with no functional exits despite our sincere efforts! It’s heart breaking to be stuck or see another stuck and you can’t help them or yourself. Now we can!